y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize