I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
