I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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