When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
We have started to decorate penises.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Randomize
