yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
