i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Randomize
