if you like me you must not know who I am
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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