he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
