is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
