i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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