you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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