Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
