i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
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