One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
