I was born with a shot glass in my hand
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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