Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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