I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
