OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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