So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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