i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
My vagina just recognized that song.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
