I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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