Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
