Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
