my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Randomize
