oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
