Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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