Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Randomize
