You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
