the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
