Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
