Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize