My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
