i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
