last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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