Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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