woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Randomize
