I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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