IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
