I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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