Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
