I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize