don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
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