do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
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