I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
