I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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