I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
