Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
