Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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