I just made out with a guy for $7.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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