just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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