are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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