we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
