That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
