question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
