we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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