So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
