is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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