i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
