What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
