i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
