I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Also, beer. Big fan.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
