You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize
