You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
