Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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