CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
