I want to stick my p in your. b.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
