Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
