Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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