For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
The uberlube is also flammable
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
