dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
