Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
he thought i was a dude.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
