For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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