Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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