Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
