Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
My vagina is very pro this idea
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
