I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
