i don't plan on having that self control this summer
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
